Let me set the scene: I’m sitting on the couch, eating a bowl of popcorn, when my dog, Sir Barksalot (real name: Kevin), stares at me. Not the “I love you” stare. Not the “I’m judging your life choices” stare.
Let me paint you a picture: It's 2022. I'm wearing beige linen pants 👖, sipping matcha 🍵, and decluttering my life with the intensity of Marie Kondo on an espresso bender ☕️💃.
Let me set the stage: It's 8:30 AM ⏰. I'm late to a job interview 😰. My GPS, affectionately named "Karen" because someone here loves passive aggression*, chirps, "Turn left… into oblivion." 😱 I laugh nervously 😅. Karen does not 😐.
It's 8:02 AM ⏰. Janet from Accounting sends a polite email titled "Reminder: Don't Heat Fish in the Microwave." 🐟🚫🔥 By 8:07 AM, the entire company is in a digital gladiator arena 🏛️⚔️, and the only winner is Chaos 🌪️.